It’s a late afternoon ROW80 check-in for me, as I’ve spent the past few days feeling sort of brain-dead, and generally useless — lots of laying on the couch and binging on The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, which is actually a pretty awesome cartoon series. However, it has inspired my latest life goal, which is to create and teach a course that explores the sociology of comic books and superheroes (!!!).
The theme of the past week? Small victories. Here’s how things went down:
Writing: Didn’t get as much done here as I’d like, but I did start some legitimate editing, instead of just writing up random scenes that may or may not end up in the final product. I’ve also been taking time out to “walk” my way through each scene, and to really start thinking about the wants, needs, and motivations of each character. All that background work is helping things to take shape.
Day Job: I finished my 2nd guest lecture this week, and it was lots of fun (the topic was film noir and post-World War II cinema). Even better, one of the students told me after class that I did a really great job, which saved me a whole weekend of self-doubt. The downside is that I’m still trying to adjust to the workload of grading 60-70 two page papers each week, so hopefully I pull that together soon.
I’ll be scheduling my MA thesis defense for sometime in the beginning of March, so prepping for that will be on my to-do list in the coming days. *bites nails* This is exciting and utterly terrifying all at once.
Social Time: I’ve been hunkered down at home all week, though I did get a chance to hit the beach last Sunday and hang out with friends. There have also been a couple of gossip-filled afternoons out to grab Indian food (always awesome), but I’m saving up my energy for next weekend, when I head to LA to spend my birthday with my little sister.
Exercise: Okay, I think I reached my goals… but it’s been one of those weeks when I can’t even remember what I had for dinner yesterday, let alone the number of times I worked out. I think it was 3 or 4 days, at any rate.
50/50 Challenge: No new movies, but I did get a chance to read fellow WANA-ite/ROW’er Jennette Marie Powell‘s Time’s Enemy, and wow — I was totally enthralled with it. If you’re into time travel, science-fiction novels, complete with romance, I highly recommend it. (Jen, is it March yet? Can I have book 2? I’m seriously dying to read it.)
-oOo-
If you haven’t already done so, I highly recommend that you all swing by and check out August McLaughlin‘s Beauty of a Woman blogfest — there are some incredible stories that have been shared. Also, sign-ups for Rachael Harrie’s Writers’ Platform-Building Campaign end on February 15th, so if you’re interested in taking part, head over here.
With so many inspirational, uplifting, and awe-inspiring posts that have been written to celebrate August McLauglin’s “Beauty of a Woman” blogfest, I am excited and humbled to be able to add my voice to the mix.
Be sure to visit her blog on Friday, February 10th to check out all of the entries. I promise, you will laugh, cry, and feel inspired by the extraordinary stories that have been told.
As an extra-added bonus, you also have a chance to win some awesome prizes, including a $99 Amazon gift card or a Kindle Touch.
-oOo-
Growing up, my favorite movies were the ones that fall into the “makeover” genre. You know the ones I’m talking about — the films where the painfully awkward, shy, chubby/ugly/completely unstylish brainy girl is transformed into a ravishing beauty through the efforts of some form of fairy godmother. Not only does she become gorgeous, she also manages to snag Prince Charming and live happily ever after.
These films resonated with me because I was that awkward, chubby, bespectacled smart kid. I was the one that went through life as the butt of everyone else’s jokes, who avoided the popular kids and the cute guys so I wouldn’t have to endure their taunting, and who, in occasional moments of weakness, politely asked god (okay, demanded) whether it it might be better if I could exchange my brains for beauty.
The teasing wasn’t so terrible when I was in elementary school, partly because I was too lost in my own little world of novels and schoolwork to know any better. But by the time junior high rolled around, things became hellish.
Puberty hits most people hard, but Mother Nature saw fit to give me an extra-special “present”: a hormonal disorder known as Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). It’s estimated to affect anywhere between 10% and 20% of women, and it manifests itself during adolescence. There’s much more research around these days dealing with its origins, and ways to treat it, but back in the late 1990s, my doctors could only tell me that there was something up with my ovaries, and that my body was producing abnormal levels of androgen and testosterone — not the sort of thing that a 12 year old girl wants to hear.
What mattered to me more than anything were the secondary effects of PCOS: the acne that just kept coming, the extra weight I gained, the way my voice deepened, and even worse, the dark hair that sprouted on my legs, my arms, and my face.
I was “lucky” in the fact that the kids at school didn’t tease me about my weight (although my extended family did call me the “fat kid,” asked when I was going to diet, then balked if I didn’t eat seconds at parties — “What’s wrong, are you on a diet? Eat more!”), but they did notice the hair… and they were cruel.
Starting in 5th grade, they threw every name in the book at me. I became the girl with the “hairy fungus legs,” the one with the “man moustache.” It was so much worse than anything that I had ever been called before, worse than if they had just called me plain ugly. It was like being told that I was only part girl, that I was some creepy, bizarre freak. I lived in fear that I would suddenly start sprouting a full beard like the “werewolf children” that had been profiled on the Discovery Channel, that I would have to live my life as some sort of crazy bearded lady in a circus.
My parents didn’t quite understand my plight, though in their defense, I never told them the magnitude of the bullying until years later. Mom wouldn’t let me shave my legs, which meant that I had to walk around in my skirt (pants weren’t part of the school uniform for girls) without any way to cover up. When it came to my face, my mom told me not to worry about it — I was beautiful “just the way I was.”
I eventually won the right to the razor and the depilatory creams, seized hold of tweezers and acne medication, but the damage to my psyche was complete. It’s probably little wonder that I was a festering mess of rage and anguish during those years. I lashed out at my family, sparked countless fights with my mom, and pushed away my little sister, all the while spiraling down a rabbit hole of depression.
The mirror told me how ugly I was, and the little demons in my head whispered of my worthlessness. They told me tales of how I would be unloved and friendless, how my intelligence would never be enough to make up for the physical beauty that I lacked.
And yet, it’s sometimes in the midst of destruction and trauma that we find our strength. Like the phoenix rising from its ashes, turmoil can transform us, bring us closer to beauty than smooth roads and easy paths.
Because I had no fairy godmother who would wave her magic wand and transform me from my trollish state into an exquisitely-formed princess, I turned inward. There, beyond the taunting of those tenacious demons, I found something else, something I hadn’t quite expected: a flickering flame that refused to be doused, a voice that refused to be silent, an inner strength that demanded I fight back.
I couldn’t speak out against my tormentors; I was too afraid of the backlash that might result. Instead, it was my journal that became my refuge. I filled its pages with my frustration and sadness, with the anger that I kept locked inside. Poetry came welling out my pen, raw and unpolished, and ever so slowly, I found a way to leech away the poison that had been corroding my soul.
Writing gave me a power unlike any other, the chance to tell my own story. I discovered that there was beauty inside of me, an amazing wealth of talents, passions, interests, and strengths. It became my form of prayer, my way of connecting with a god that I loved more than anything else, a god that I believed had shaped me, formed me, called me by name and made me his.
It was this therapy that gave me the will to live. Through poetry and prose, I could paint myself with as many shades of beautiful as I desired. I became a goddess, a force of nature, wielding words like weapons, or maybe a magic wand, the kind that could bring universes into being and create worlds that existed only in my imagination.
The beauty I uncovered was one that couldn’t be purchased, and as much as I love fashion and cosmetics these days, those material goods could never have the same transformative power. This was a beauty forged in the pit of despair, tempered by prayer and faith, and it gave me the freedom to accept every inch of myself, inside and out.
-oOo-
It’s been more than a decade since that turbulent period in my youth, and the lessons that I’ve learned still hold true. Granted, my demons still exist, and they continue to whisper and hiss in my ear. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully silence them, but I have the power that I need to speak against them.
I want to leave you all with a poem that I return to whenever I find myself faltering. It’s “And Still I Rise” by Maya Angelou, and it expresses everything that I want other women to know: that even when people try to push us down and destroy our spirits, we can and will rise, stronger, brighter, and more beautiful than ever.
I’m so excited to take part in Rachael Harrie’s 4th Writers’ Platform-Building Campaign! I joined up last August for the 3rd round, and had an absolute blast discovering new bloggers and writers. If you want to sign up for Round 4, fill out this form, add your name to the list of campaigners, and don’t forget to follow #writecampaign on Twitter.
First, a little about me. I’m originally from the San Francisco Bay Area, but I’ve spent almost 3 years living in Santa Barbara, CA and working my way through a PhD program in sociology. I’m doing the big-time juggling act, balancing coursework, research, and teaching with writing, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. My Kindle is my inanimate lover, I am obsessed with Byronic heroes, and I drink more tea than is probably healthy… but it’s all good, right? 😉
I’ve been writing for fun since I was a kid, but I decided to tackle writing as a career almost a year ago. At the moment, I’m trying to wrap up the first draft of TELL ME NO LIES, a steampunk murder-mystery set in 1890s San Francisco, and work through PATH TO THE PEACOCK throne, a fantasy novel I started during NaNoWriMo 2011. You can see my works in-progress, along with a couple of excerpts, here.
I also try to blog a couple of times a week, though depending on how much grading I have to do, that can change. 😉 In the weeks to come, expect to see some flash fiction, major fan-girling for Hugh Jackman, and some life reflections (these seem to be connected with turning 25). I’ll also be posting regular updates for A Round of Words in 80 Days, “the writing challenge that knows you have a life” (a writing community/challenge that I highly recommend).
You can find me around the interwebz on Twitter, Google+ and Facebook (feel free to friend me or subscribe to my public updates, whichever you prefer). I also post writing inspirations to Tumblr and Pinterest.
I look forward to connecting with old and new friends, and getting to know all of you.
As I understand it, many people in the United States spent yesterday afternoon watching some sort of sporting event on television. Because my poor San Francisco 49ers weren’t participating in said event, I skipped out on all the parties and barbecues and tables laden with chips and 7-layer dip, and went to the beach instead. However, it has come to my attention that Samsung totally had some awesome commercial involving one of the greatest one-hit wonders in the world, The Darkness.
This song means a lot to me, because it brings back memories of the best Valentine’s Day I ever had, way back when I was just turning 17. It involved two of my best girlfriends, amazing Mexican food, and driving through San Francisco with this song blaring and all of us attempting to hit those crazy high notes. Pure magic, people.
You can find the ad here, but I find it highly depressing that they didn’t air clips from the actual music video, which is crack-effing-tastic. There is a spaceship, and space monsters, and more crazy-weirdness than you can shake a stick at. Honestly… you just have to see it to believe it.
So here you are, folks — a dose of WTF-ness to start your Monday off right.
Whew, it’s just been one of “those” weeks, one where I feel like I’m racing along on the hamster wheel, only to find that I haven’t actually tackled all those things that really need to get done. I’ve done well on the exercise and eating well goals; written consistently each weekday with the #ROW80 sprints; graded a ton of papers and lectured in my prof’s absence on Wednesday (we’ll ignore the anxiety attack I had beforehand, and the caffeine-induced freakout I had afterwards); and watched 3 movies (Haywire, The Woman in Black, and the 2006 version of Jane Eyre) and read 1 book (Lindsay Buroker’s awesomesauce steampunk/fantasy novel, The Emperor’s Edge) towards my 50/50 challenge goals. Oh, and I wrote some flash fiction, too.
Given that we’ve completed a full month of Round 1, I thought I’d do a bit of a pause-and-reflect to consider what I’ve learned and where I’d like to improve in the weeks to come.
Working out in the morning makes the rest of my day better, partly because I just feel better about myself, and also because I end up with more energy.
Eating well also makes me feel better. Strawberries and spinach belong together, goat cheese is magical, candied ginger is the best candy replacement ever, and I actually think I’d rather have baby carrots than potato chips (shocking, I know).
Creating a to-do list each night helps me to evaluate what I’ve finished and what I need to tackle the next day.
Reading a good book almost always makes things better.
When I feel listless, crabby, oddly emotional, or like someone’s gummed up my brain with a bucket of molasses, I almost always need a nap. Naps are good things, and I am going to stop feeling guilty about taking them.
Hanging out with my #teamsprinty buddies each day has manifold benefits. Even if I’m not 100% thrilled with my output (quantity and/or quality), I always finish the hour with a giant smile on my face from all of our antics. If you ever need to be entertained, make yourself a #ROW80 column on your Twitter app of choice, and watch the nonsense flow. Last week we all took a trip to space on a book-shaped rocketship (powered by Dr. Pepper), accompanied by paper bags and vodka and chips. Good times, folks, good times.
STUFF I CAN DO BETTER
That to-do list I mentioned above? I’ve faltered on that one big time, and I’m really feeling the pinch of not being well-organized. I need to get back on track with prioritizing my tasks and making myself a loose schedule.
My research assistantship, not to mention my dissertation brainstorming, have fallen by the wayside in the past couple of weeks. I have to push both of these projects back up on my priority list (there’s that list again…) so I can make sure that I get things done.
Writing blog posts has also been challenging. I know exactly what I want to post for the rest of the month, and I even have some half-finished drafts sitting around… but finishing and posting them is proving to be close-to-impossible (Exhibit A: My Hugh Jackman post that was supposed to go up on February 1st, which is almost done, but not quite, and is currently collecting dust in my drafts folder). My perfectionist streak must be rearing its ugly head, because I keep scraping everything I try to write because it is not exactly perfect. Pfft.
I’ve been utterly pathetic at making the blog rounds, and at responding to comments on my posts, which makes me feel all icky. But I have a really hard time marshaling my thoughts to say anything that intelligible when I’m tired, and lately my brain has been like a fifteen-ring circus on Red Bull, with too many thoughts whirling around for me to get much of a handle on anything.
So… yeah. That’s where things stand at the moment. Now that I have a few of my goals seemingly under control, I’ll be concentrating on everything in that second list. Hopefully in the weeks to come, I’ll find a way to at least somewhat manage everything. 😀
It’s been far too long since I’ve tackled one of ‘Timony Souler’s flash fiction challenges, and so when I heard about her #DearValentine event, I signed up immediately.
Over the next 4 Saturdays, my fellow participants and I will be posting short 300 word drabbles based on the challenge prompts.
Week 1’s prompt is simple: A note, a photograph, the docks.
My entry is exactly 300 words long, and is part one of my still-unnamed four part series. Feedback is always appreciated. Finally, be sure to check out the other participants’ work.
-oOo-
“Abandoned”
The ship was a speck against the horizon by the time Pierce arrived at the docks. He was too late.
He could still smell her fragrance lingering in the air, the faintest trace of jasmine and lavender. It taunted him, an unsettling reminder that even he, with his speed and strength and near-prescient senses, was capable of failure.
The cynic in him said that he deserved heartbreak. He had rejected his carefully honed instinct for self-preservation when he decided to pursue her, and all for what? A pair of haunting violet eyes, a sinful mouth, and the most luscious curves he had ever seen? A woman more intelligent, more passionate than any he had ever known?
Self-reproach was useless, for Wyng was perfection. He had been helpless against her from the start. More importantly, she had loved him. He would never believe anything less.
He couldn’t look at the photograph she had left behind; they were too in love, too blissfully happy. Rather, it was her final note, little more than a crumpled mess of smeared ink, that he clenched in his fist.
I’m no good, Pierce. I’ll only bring destruction upon you if I stay.
That was a lie. She had restored him to life, reminded him that there was a world beyond violence and hate.
Forget me, and don’t try to find me.
How could he ever manage such a feat? His chest heaved, as though some imaginary string tied their hearts together and pulled taut, stretching beyond endurance. He couldn’t allow it to snap.
With a curl of his lip, he tossed the note into the wind and climbed onto his motorcycle. The engine revved to life at his touch, and within moments, the docks were behind him.
He had never been very good at following directions.
Last week, I think we more or less came to the agreement that baby sloths are among the most adorable creatures in the animal kingdom. However, my sleepy sloth-in-a-box is nothing compared to this clip from Animal Planet, showing the orphaned of baby sloths of Costa Rica’s Sloth Sanctuary having a bath.
Yes, that’s right: teeny, tiny, squeaky little sloths in the midst of bath time, and curling up to nom on a few hibiscus flowers afterwards (did you know that hibiscus flowers are “like sloth chocolate”? No? Now you do).
The only question that remains is whether or not I can find a way to jet off to Costa Rica to volunteer at the Sloth Sanctuary. I somehow feel like my life won’t be complete till I can cradle a baby sloth in my hands. *melts a little inside*
As always, I am deeply indebted to Jezebel for rounding up some of the best animal videos that can be found on youtube. If you’re ever in need of a dose of cute, be sure to visit their #squee stream.
A completely gratuitous picture, because I can. Hugh Jackman (Image via RottenTomatoes.com)
It’s been a steady, solid week of productivity here at Flights of Fancy, though far less intense than last week. I write this week’s ROW80 update while in the midst of an impromptu Hugh Jackman mini-marathon. I am refreshing my memory of his filmography circa 2001: Someone Like You, Kate and Leopold, and if I can stay awake, X-Men. It is “research” for the Hugh-themed posts I have planned for my birthday month of February… or so I keep telling myself. 😀
I’ve hit just about all of my goals for the week, though I didn’t attack them with the same fervor from last week. That was partly due to the weather — Monday was super rainy and dark, and I stayed inside and had a “manflesh”-themed movie marathon (The Two Towers, 300, and Gladiator), and the last few days have been like summer in January, with absolutely perfect beach weather. Thursday was my work-at-the-beach day, yesterday was a grading-at-Starbucks day, and today was all about cleaning my apartment. Still, I managed to get things done.
Here’s my week in review:
Writing: I made it to all of this week’s ROW80 writing sprints, and while I had a few slow days, I wrote a handful of new scenes for my steampunk WIP. There’s still lots of work to be done with outlining and plotting and the like, so in the week to come, my goal is to make planning a priority. However, I can’t be too disappointed with my output for the week: 5705 words. Not too shabby!
Day Job: My thesis advisor gave me the green light on my draft, and I’ve sent it off to the other members of my committee. The early word is that I should be able to defend by the end of the quarter (early March). In addition, my advisor sent along her initial feedback. Overall, it’s positive, with observations of my “stunningly beautiful prose” and my intellectual contributions. However, she has a number of critiques for me to keep in mind for the future of the project, including any articles I may write.
I’ve been a little angsty about the critiques, if only because they remind me of all the work that still needs to be done in order for me to create scholarly work that is worthy of publication. I’ve also been more than a little stressed because I’m going to have to take over my advisor’s class for a couple of weeks, since she will be out of town on a family emergency. I’ve guest-lectured before, but this… this will require lots of planning and lecture-writing and whatnot. I have a few days to pull together the first class (on WWII-era cinema and women’s roles in the military), but I’m definitely a little nervous. Cross your fingers that I survive!
Social Time: I saw Underworld: Awakening with my friend Melissa last Sunday, and I was supposed to go to a birthday party last night, but it got canceled… until the cancellation was retracted a couple of hours later, when I was already in pjs with a stack of rented movies to watch. But I’m off to see Haywire tomorrow, which should be exciting, as I’m hearing lots of great things about it.
Exercise: I worked out 4 times this week, and I’ve been on track with my healthy meals and snacks. I treated myself to In-n-Out on Thursday, and grabbed an Its-It yesterday since it was hot, but the good news is that the taste of fast food hasn’t left me with crazy cravings for more. I’m still eating at least one salad a day, and my need for snacking has decreased big time. Better yet, the at-home Pilates is getting easier, and I can once again touch my toes without feeling too sore. Progress!
50/50 Challenge: I read Angela Wallace’s ELEMENTAL MAGIC this week, a lovely urban fantasy/paranormal romance that I really enjoyed. I also discovered Redbox and rented a whole bunch of movies, including Crazy, Stupid, Love (I think I FINALLY understand the Ryan Gosling obsession now), the 2011 Conan the Barbarian (Jason Momoa’s bare bottom is probably the only good thing about the film), and Real Steel (ohhhhh, so good, and Hugh has STILL got it. So.Damn.Hot.). I’m 10 books ahead of schedule, and a few movies ahead too, so that’s nice.
-oOo-
In case you missed it, our beloved #teamsprinty, the ROWers who sprint together on weekdays (11 am PST!), were featured in my “Wicked Wednesday” post, which was a battle between two of Orlando Bloom’s beloved characters, Legolas Greenleaf from The Lord of the Rings and Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean. At the moment, Team Elf is winning with 10 votes, followed by those of you unable to choose between (7 votes). Team Pirate is trailing with only 6 votes. If you’re inclined, head over and cast your vote today, or just pop over and check out the comments. They are probably the most entertaining and hilarious I’ve ever received on the blog.
Don’t forget to swing by and visit the rest of our wonderful ROW80 participants!
Yes, folks, that’s right. I’m on fire this week, as far as my ROW80 goals are concerned. Overall, I’ve been doing a decent job with structuring my day so that I have enough routine to get things done. My day is now built around early morning exercise and the ROW80 writing sprints (11 am PST!), with something research and/or dissertation-related in the afternoon.
I’ve been keeping my apartment clean, cooking myself meals most evenings, and feeling like a sane, healthy individual. I’m not 100% sure how long this is going to last, but in the meantime, I’m trying to enjoy myself.
Here’s how the week played out:
Writing: I managed to take part in the daily ROW80 writing sprints Monday-Thursday (Friday I was foiled by my dying laptop charger, sadly), and wrote between 1000 and 1500 words each day towards TELL ME NO LIES. I had a minor breakthrough on Wednesday, when it occurred to me to start focusing on individual elements of the novel, rather than try to edit and write linearly. At the moment, I have laid out the major plot points, and I’ve started to fit the milestones for individual character arcs and romance subplots on top of those.
Pulling apart each strand of the novel is proving to be incredibly helpful, as it allows me to do a better job of pinpointing how characters evolve and change, as well as understanding how their problems relate with the larger social context (yeah, that’s the sociologist in me talking). There are all sorts of “factions” in my steampunk Barbary Coast circa 1895: politicians, crime lords, industrialists, moralists, law enforcement… My brash, loud-mouthed saloon singer is caught up in the midst of them, and while it’s her story I’m telling, I can’t ignore the other tensions at work.
In the week to come, I hope to work my way through both romance subplots (as much as I tried to resist, there’s a love triangle in this story), as well as give some thought to the actual murder mystery itself. How do my hero and heroine go about hunting for a killer? I’m actually not all that sure, so figuring it out is top priority.
Day Job: I started brainstorming dissertation ideas on Tuesday, but haven’t had a chance to do more than read through half an article, and thumb my way through a book (actually, it’s the book that I wish I had written, and am kind of bitter that I didn’t) for research purposes. However, I did get a lot accomplished for my research assistantship, which my advisor is quite pleased about. I’ve tracked down a few locations for pertinent archives, and taken notes on a couple of journal articles and books. The gauntlet of grading begins next Thursday, so I will try to get more dissertation stuff beforehand.
Social Time: I’m still going strong here. I went to a concert Sunday night and met up with some grad school friends for drinks Friday night. Even better, I had a chance to visit with my friend, fellow writer, and former high school biology teacher, Eva Gordon, on Friday afternoon.
Eva is writes paranormal romance and science fiction (I’m lucky enough to be one of her beta readers), and we had a great talk about books and writing, as well as all those things she taught in her biology class that still stick with me today: werewolves, forensic investigation, viruses and plagues, and countless other things. It was definitely one of the highlights of my week.
Exercise: I am shockingly on target here. I worked out 5 days this week, and mixed up my routine with a 4 mile walk (Monday), my 50-minute at-home Pilates routine (Tuesday), and thirty minutes on the glider for the remaining three days.
I’ve also been tackling nutrition as well. I took some of the advice that you all gave me last round when I asked for healthy snack ideas. Instead of buying chips, pretzels, or cookies on my last grocery shopping trip, I picked up baby carrots, apples, almonds, and crystallized ginger. Better yet, I’m upping my water intake, having at least one super-tasty salad a day (spinach, strawberries, avocado, and goat cheese is my current fav), and trying to limit portion sizes.
50/50 Challenge: I devoted most of my efforts to research and writing this week, so my reading rates have declined quite a bit. However, I read THE STORY OF THE SISTERS OF MERCY IN MISSISSIPPI, a 1933 history of the order of Catholic nuns and their experiences as pioneers in 19th century Mississippi, along with AGAIN by fellow WANA-ite, Diana Murdock. I definitely recommend AGAIN for anyone who enjoys romance, time travel, and reincarnation, as it was beautifully written and incredibly enjoyable.
No new movies to report on, though I did start watching the 2006 BBC miniseries, The State Within, about terrorism and conspiracies, starring Jason Isaacs in a rare non-villainous role. Better yet, I am off to see the latest Underworld film tomorrow. Nothing like vampires and lycans and action to complete my weekend. 😀
Today the United States celebrates Martin Luther King, Jr., the activist who helped to galvanize and lead the Civil Rights movement, and who was instrumental in the legislative changes that ended legal segregation in the American south. King was a remarkable orator, a proponent of non-violent protest, and an advocate for social justice. In the years before his death, his focus broadened to include the injustices of war and poverty, as well as racial inequality. He spoke out against the Vietnam War and took a stand against both racial and economic disparities in the United States as part of the Poor People’s campaign.
His dream of an egalitarian America is one that is readily apparent in his speech, “Where Do We Go From Here,” delivered at the 1967 meeting of the Southern Christian Leadership Coalition. Racialicious has posted the complete transcript, along with the video clip that I include below, but I want to walk through a few of the passages that I find to be particularly important.
In the speech, King acknowledges the many victories that have been achieved through the Civil Rights movement. However, he also turns his attention to the future, and contemplates the action that will have to be taken in order to alleviate all forms of suffering.
The message that he offers is one that is strikingly progressive, one that demands we question our whole society and realize “that the problem of racism, the problem of economic exploitation, and the problem of war are all tied together.”
He continues,
I want to say to you as I move to my conclusion, as we talk about “Where do we go from here?” that we must honestly face the fact that the movement must address itself to the question of restructuring the whole of American society. There are forty million poor people here, and one day we must ask the question, “Why are there forty million poor people in America?” And when you begin to ask that question, you are raising a question about the economic system, about a broader distribution of wealth. When you ask that question, you begin to question the capitalistic economy. And I’m simply saying that more and more, we’ve got to begin to ask questions about the whole society. We are called upon to help the discouraged beggars in life’s marketplace. But one day we must come to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring. It means that questions must be raised. And you see, my friends, when you deal with this you begin to ask the question, “Who owns the oil?” You begin to ask the question, “Who owns the iron ore?” You begin to ask the question, “Why is it that people have to pay water bills in a world that’s two-thirds water?” These are words that must be said.
While King calls for “restructuring the whole American society,” he makes it clear that communism isn’t the solution, nor is violent riot and protest. Instead, he calls for action, for plans to create jobs and to alleviate the suffering of the poor. He calls for the integration of schools, the destruction of the slums and ghettos, and the celebration of diversity. All of this, however, must be tempered by love. Turning to the Bible and invoking Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, he reminds his audience,
you may be able to speak with the tongues of men and angels; you may have the eloquence of articulate speech; but if you have not love, it means nothing. Yes, you may have the gift of prophecy; you may have the gift of scientific prediction and understand the behavior of molecules; you may break into the storehouse of nature and bring forth many new insights; yes, you may ascend to the heights of academic achievement so that you have all knowledge; and you may boast of your great institutions of learning and the boundless extent of your degrees; but if you have not love, all of these mean absolutely nothing. You may even give your goods to feed the poor; you may bestow great gifts to charity; and you may tower high in philanthropy; but if you have not love, your charity means nothing… What I’m trying to get you to see this morning is that a man may be self-centered in his self-denial and self-righteous in his self-sacrifice. His generosity may feed his ego, and his piety may feed his pride. So without love, benevolence becomes egotism, and martyrdom becomes spiritual pride.
[vimeo 11154217]
-oOo-
“Where Do We Go From Here” is not only deeply resonant almost 50 years after its original delivery, but also serves as a poignant reminder that King’s dream has yet to be fully realized. The ghettos and slums that King railed against still stand, and in many cities across the country, informal racial segregation still occurs, both in residential neighborhoods and schools. Institutional racism is still present within our society, with systems of power like the legal system and the educational system working against the interests of the people. The current economic recession has also made plain how deeply class and racial inequalities are intwined together, as we can see in the Center for American Progress’s latest “by-the-numbers” report, which shows that young people and people of color are among the hardest hit.
Quite clearly, there is more work to be done, and yet we have to remember that so many dreams once deemed impossible have come to pass: the ending of slavery, the passage of the Civil Rights Act, the election of a black president, and countless other victories that have occurred. Rather than feel daunted by the work that is before us, I take heart in King’s words:
Let us realize that the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.
I take heart knowing that there are countless people across the country who are working towards justice in their communities. We cannot underestimate how even the smallest actions can bring change, how we can use our voices — and our words — to stem the tide of inequality and injustice.
I encourage everyone to check out Colorlines’s post, “How to Become a Racial Justice Hero, on MLK Day and All Year Long,” because it contains ways that we can all carry on King’s legacy of social engagement. We can all become “Racial Transformers.” All we need, according to Terry Keleher, is “an open mind, open heart, open arms, and often, an open mouth.”
I leave you all with one of my favorite Civil Rights-era songs, Sam Cooke’s “A Change is Gonna Come.” A change can, will, and must come, and we are the ones who are going to create it.
Lena Corazon writes steampunk and fantasy novels, drinks far too much tea, and has an unhealthy obsession with Byronic heroes. She blogs about books, sparkly things, her masochistic relationship with academia, and anything else that tickles her fancy.
