Lena Corazon

Flights of Fancy

Category: Thesis Thursdays

Thesis Thursdays: Back-to-School Beatitudes

For this week’s edition of Thesis Thursdays, I’m changing gears for a bit.  Sadly, I’m pushing aside poor Emily once more, but with the start of my school year rapidly approaching, I wanted to share this article that I found from The Crunk Feminist Collective, one of my favorite blogs that tackles issues surrounding academia, race, feminism, and social consciousness.

Although the article, “Back-to-School Beatitudes: 10 Academic Survival Tips,” is directed towards women in academia, I think the overall tips can apply to everyone who is struggling and striving to juggle multiple responsibilities without having a meltdown.  As the school year rapidly approaches, I’ve been pondering these tips, and they way that I want to enact them in my own life.

I recommend checking out the whole post, but the 10 tips, along with my commentary, are below:

1. Be confident in your abilities.

Regardless of our passions and professions, it’s easy to be bogged down by fears of inadequacy.  My own internal voice is incredibly insidious. Sometimes it whispers lies about how I’ll never finish my MA thesis or be good enough to find a job; other times, it tells me that I’m a horrible writer, that I’ll never complete a novel or get my work published. That little voice also preys on my self-image and likes to tell me that I’m not pretty enough, or skinny enough.

Lately, I’ve taken to countering that voice with a constant mantra of “I know I can, I know I can,” like The Little Engine that Could. It almost feels infantile, that non-stop repetition, but it serves to keep the demons at bay.

2. Be patient with yourself.

I have high ambitions for myself, and yet I always have to remember that I won’t accomplish them in a single attempt.  In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell presents his “10,000 hour rule“: in order to do succeed, he argues, we need to devote at least 10,000 hours to honing, practicing, and sharpening our skills.

If Gladwell is correct, that means it’ll take years, if not a lifetime, to fully develop our talents.  If that’s the case, I can’t expect myself, or my work, to be perfect.  I also can’t beat myself up every time I say something less-than-stellar during seminar, or write an article that’s a bit of a dud and isn’t accepted to the journal of my choice, or stumble a bit in my quest for global dominance achieving success as a novelist.

I also have to remind myself that it takes time to develop an idea.  I’ve been joking that writing a thesis is, to a certain extent, similar to writing a novel: both projects tend to morph and evolve in directions that one doesn’t really expect, and both require a certain amount of “brewing time” in order to work out the kinks in plot, structure, or theoretical/analytical framework. We have to learn to get comfortable with those periods where we’re not actively producing, because even then, we’re working.

3. Be your own best advocate. Prioritize your own (professional) needs/goals.

One of the most important lessons I learned in junior high was the power of being perseverance. As Mr. C, my 8th grade homeroom teacher told me, “If you want something, Lena, you’ve gotta go out and get it yourself. You have to be prepared to fight for what you want, otherwise you’ll never get it.”

In this case, the magical unicorn that I was fighting for was a list of privileges for the 8th grade class that included bathroom breaks and class sweatshirts (ah, the innocent days of my youth), but the advice still applies. No one is going to deliver our goals on a silver platter. We’ve got to chase them.

4. Be kind to yourself.

I love this one, because I find that it’s much easier for me to be unkind to myself. That niggling voice of doubt is incredibly powerful, telling me that I don’t deserve to take time off, that I should be ashamed because I had a rather large slice of chocolate cake after dinner, or that I’m not really a scholar, because I haven’t published in X-journal, like my other colleagues have.  But as Jami Gold wrote in a recent post, we have to give ourselves permission to mess up, to fail, to chase our dreams, and to have a breather now and then.

5. Be proactive about self-care.

I ignored self-care for a long time in grad school, and wondered why I was getting struck down with horrible migraines every few weeks. Turns out that sleep is useful, as well as a means to manage stress.  Writing is my outlet, but I’ve found that I need to find other ways to take care of myself, like going outside and getting some sunshine, taking time out to meditate and go to church, spending time with friends, or just taking a mid-day nap when I feel sleepy.

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Thesis Thursdays: Emily Post, the Voice of the 1920s

It’s time for another round of Thesis Thursdays, my weekly discussion of the topics related to my MA thesis, a study of US etiquette texts published in the 1920s.  For any new visitors, you find the two part introduction to my thesis here: Part 1 and Part 2. Today, we turn to the name most closely associated with etiquette: Emily Post.

Thus Best Society is not a fellowship of the wealthy, nor does it seek to exclude those who are not of exalted birth; but it is an association of gentle-folk, of which good form in speech, charm of manner, knowledge of the social amenities, and instinctive consideration for the feelings of others, are the credentials by which society the world over recognizes its chosen members.

So concludes the opening chapter of Emily Price Post’s 1922 classic, Etiquette: In Society, In Business, In Politics and at Home.  The book was immensely popular upon its debut, reaching the top 10 bestsellers list of 1923 and positioning Post as one of the foremost authorities on etiquette within the United States.

Emily Post, Source: Library of Congress

Born in 1872, Post was brought up in a family linked to wealth and privilege.  Her maternal grandfather, Washington Lee, had amassed a fortune in coal fields, and while her paternal family had little by way of wealth, they made up for it in terms of reputation.  The marriage of Post’s parents, Josephine and Bruce Price, was noted to be “an equitable swap, great lineage for great wealth” (Claridge 2005:12).

With such a background, Post led a charmed life, one that allowed her to mix with influential members of New York society, granting her an early glimpse into the world that she would later write about. At age of 20, she married Edwin Post, a prominent New York banker.

Emily Post on her honeymoon, 1892.

After 13 years, their marriage ended in divorce after the scandal of Edwin’s affairs hit the gossip columns.  It’s here that Post’s life took an unexpected turn.  Though she was able to fall back on the money from her mother’s legacy (she opted not to press for alimony from Edwin, as his company had experienced some financial problems), she began to write, penning short stories that were sold to magazines, as well as travel columns and novels.

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Thesis Thursdays: Here Comes the Bride

Hi all!  I offer my second installment of Thesis Thursdays for your reading enjoyment. Today’s topic: the second half of my introduction to the world of 1920s etiquette, the topic of my soon-to-be-finished MA thesis.

I promised last week that I’d tackle the question that I left dangling: what exactly does the white wedding have to do with etiquette books?  To answer that, we have to take a step back for a moment and rewind to 2007…

A bit of backstory.

Four years ago I was entering my final year at the University of San Francisco, where I was working on a BA in sociology.  It was time to work on my senior undergraduate thesis, and I knew exactly what I was going to study: wedding magazines.  See, I was always one of those girls who was obsessed with weddings.  I started planning mine when I was around 4 or 5.  By high school, I was making wedding spreadsheets (spreadsheets, folks) with all of my plans, everything from pictures of venues and my favorite gowns and engagement rings to smaller details, like bridal bouquets and cake toppers.  And, of course, each spreadsheet was organized by theme: laid-back beach wedding, midnight masquerade ball wedding, early morning wedding followed by a Victorian tea party, and countless others.

A snippet of the "Beach Wedding" spreadsheet, circa 2001.  Definitely NOT a fan of those dresses anymore.

A snippet of my "beach wedding" spreadsheet, circa 2001. Definitely NOT a fan of those dresses today.

Then I got to college and found my way to the sociology department, where we started talking about things like race, class, gender, and sexuality, which got me thinking about wedding magazines in particular.  They were, I noticed after some thought, primarily targeted towards women — a gendered ritual, if you will. Furthermore, almost all of the gowns and other accessories featured in the glossy pages of the magazines are ludicrously expensive, which led me to think that there’s a class aspect to all of this as well.

Sadly, it also became clear that almost everyone depicted in bridal magazines is white — so we can say that weddings, at least the way that they’re portrayed in magazines like Brides, are racialized.  And of course, with all of the agitation and controversy over the legalization of gay marriage, it’s impossible to ignore the heterosexist focus of almost all mainstream wedding magazines.  There’s nary a same-sex couple to be found outside of niche magazines that specifically target the LGBT community.

Thus my honors thesis was born, and it was a lot of fun to pull together.  I came away with a lot of data about the portrayal of women in bridal magazines, but it was the historical underpinnings of the wedding ceremony that really fascinated me.  When I got to grad school, I decided to focus on the development of the ritual to see what I could uncover.

The White Wedding: A Brief History

Conseulo Vanderbilt was one of the few who could afford a grand fete, as seen here in this illustration of her wedding to the Duke of Marlborough, 1895

Diving into the history of the wedding has revealed some fascinating information.  First, I learned that the ceremony deemed commonplace today — bride in a big white dress with bridesmaids, a groom in a tux, and a fancy party afterwards — is a recent invention.  In the 19th century, most people married in small ceremonies where the central elements (dress, flowers, food, cake) were created and made by the bride, her family, and other members of the community.  The lavish wedding, the one with the fancy dress and the party, was something that only wealthy Americans could afford.

By the 1920s, this starts to shift.  Consumption and commodification become commonplace, and the wedding industry begins to gain power.  Professional caterers, stationers, jewelers, and early wedding planners and consultants emerge, and wedding chapels, hotels, and halls become popular.  In addition, departments stores consolidated the wedding planning process, offering the bride “one-stop shopping” to pick up her trousseau, wedding gown, jewelry, and other wedding-related essentials.

Marketing, advertising, and the lures of consumption have all been instrumental in the growing popularity of the white wedding.  Today, the wedding has become “democratized,” evolving in a way that allows families who aren’t part of the “social elite” to take part.

And Etiquette Matters Why…?

A New York Times Advertisement for Emily Post's "Etiquette," 1925

A second thing that I noticed in my research was the centrality of wedding etiquette. Etiquette writers have been instrumental in outlining acceptable practices for the wedding.  Over the years, they have written about the rules that tell us how brides and grooms should behave, how the groom-to-be should propose, which gifts are appropriate, and other elements of social interaction.

Why is this important?  Because the rules of etiquette articulate the norms and standards that govern the wedding.  The guidelines that we operate under today can be traced, at the very least, to the 1920s, when both etiquette books and the white wedding were booming with popularity.

During this period, the white wedding is considered the most appropriate way to marry in the United States for families of taste.  For people aspiring to climb the social ladder, planning and executing a white wedding was one means of displaying refinement.  The etiquette book became invaluable for training families in the normative rules that structured the ritual.  As we see above, “June brides” were encouraged to purchase copies of Emily Post’s Etiquette in order to plan weddings that were “conventionally correct in every detail.”

Next Week: Emily Post

And speaking of Emily Post, she’ll be the focus of next week’s Thesis Thursday column, where I dig into her biography, discuss her role as the “voice of the 1920s”, and share a few tidbits from her 1922 bestseller, Etiquette.

Introducing Thesis Thursdays

PhD Comics: "Relationship Status"

So in the midst of juggling all my blogging-writing-thesisizing crazy, I totally let this post slip by the wayside and accidentally posted a barely-finished draft this morning (note to self: do not schedule posts unless they are 100% complete).  This, my friends, is the downside of multi-tasking.

At any rate, here I am.  My name is Lena, and I happen to be an academic — a sociologist, to be exact.  I have been in trying to write a MA thesis for almost four years, and I am finally seeing the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.  By the end of September I should have a complete draft in hand, and by December I should have that draft all shiny, pretty, and ready to be defended.   

One of the difficulties of scholarly research is the highly limited audience.  Because of the nature of the work (jargon-y terms, specialized knowledge, etc.), as well as the publications where it’s eventually found (academic journals that can only be accessed through university libraries or personal subscription), it’s easy to feel as though one is writing for only a handful of people.  In my case, my guaranteed readers are the three members of my committee, a couple of friends, and maybe my parents.

Okay, so *sometimes* academic jargon can be deciphered. Source: PhD Comics, "Deciphering Academese"

But I like to share the things that I’ve learned, and after almost four years, my brain is bursting at the seams with fascinating facts, historical tidbits, and other odds and ends that I’ve acquired.  So every Thursday until I defend my thesis, I’ll be offering these wee shining jewels of knowledge for public consumption.

The Project.

By this point, I’m sure you’re scratching your head and asking, “But Lena, what exactly is this magical, wonderful thesis about?  What exactly are you trying to study?”

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