If I had a brain scan taken right now, I think it would resemble one of those houses on an episode of Hoarders: piled high with junk, all discombobulated, disorganized, and frightening. July has sped past me with all the zipping and zooming of a bullet train, and I’m not quite sure when I have to show for it.
One of the causes of this mental disorganization of course stems from the craziness of moving and settling back in. I’ve adjusted to being home with family fairly easily — maybe a little too easily. There have been all sorts of lunches and dinners out, day trips to fun places, and other activities and outings going on. All this social time has been wonderful, but it’s been eating away at my quiet time. As many of you introverts will know, that quiet time is darned essential, and so I need to do a better job at setting boundaries for myself.
To make things even better, the Doubt Monster has been lurking around for the last few weeks, accompanied by his cronies Irrational Fear and Angst. This means that writing, both creative and academic, has been an agonizing process. Words are wrangled onto the page with back-breaking effort, most of them get deleted, then replaced with approximately the same level of pain. My rapidly approaching (and expiring) deadlines have done little to kick my butt into gear, which in turn brings back the Doubt Monster in all his wonderfully doubting glory, and the cycle begins again.
But it is August 1st! This means that it is time for renewed energy and new beginnings. Better yet, I have decided that it is time to banish the Doubt Monster and his posse into some galaxy far, far away so that I can clean up my mental house and get things in order.
August 1st is also the start of CampNaNoWriMo, which I (of course) decided to tackle in a moment of wild idiocy (supreme overconfidence?). I toyed with the idea of pulling out, but part of me thinks that the forced focus might actually be good for me. To make my life a little easier, I’ll be working on STRANGE BEDFELLOWS, my somewhat-erotic romance that is already 15k long. An outline sort of dropped into my lap, fully-formed and shiny, a couple of months ago, so I’ll be using that as my guide.
My itemized list of things accomplished/not accomplished will be posted on Sunday, but until then I leave you with this picture of my cat, Napoleon. I like to think of him as my mascot in all things associated with lazy, and a welcome reminder that a little rest and relaxation in the midst of all our busy time.