It’s been far too long since I’ve tackled one of ‘Timony Souler’s flash fiction challenges, and so when I heard about her #DearValentine event, I signed up immediately.
Over the next 4 Saturdays, my fellow participants and I will be posting short 300 word drabbles based on the challenge prompts.
Week 1’s prompt is simple: A note, a photograph, the docks.
My entry is exactly 300 words long, and is part one of my still-unnamed four part series. Feedback is always appreciated. Finally, be sure to check out the other participants’ work.
-oOo-
“Abandoned”
The ship was a speck against the horizon by the time Pierce arrived at the docks. He was too late.
He could still smell her fragrance lingering in the air, the faintest trace of jasmine and lavender. It taunted him, an unsettling reminder that even he, with his speed and strength and near-prescient senses, was capable of failure.
The cynic in him said that he deserved heartbreak. He had rejected his carefully honed instinct for self-preservation when he decided to pursue her, and all for what? A pair of haunting violet eyes, a sinful mouth, and the most luscious curves he had ever seen? A woman more intelligent, more passionate than any he had ever known?
Self-reproach was useless, for Wyng was perfection. He had been helpless against her from the start. More importantly, she had loved him. He would never believe anything less.
He couldn’t look at the photograph she had left behind; they were too in love, too blissfully happy. Rather, it was her final note, little more than a crumpled mess of smeared ink, that he clenched in his fist.
I’m no good, Pierce. I’ll only bring destruction upon you if I stay.
That was a lie. She had restored him to life, reminded him that there was a world beyond violence and hate.
Forget me, and don’t try to find me.
How could he ever manage such a feat? His chest heaved, as though some imaginary string tied their hearts together and pulled taut, stretching beyond endurance. He couldn’t allow it to snap.
With a curl of his lip, he tossed the note into the wind and climbed onto his motorcycle. The engine revved to life at his touch, and within moments, the docks were behind him.
He had never been very good at following directions.
February 4, 2012 at 9:43 am
Aw Lena it is so good to have you on board for this challenge! I can’t wait to read the next entry already! Poor Pierce, will he find his love? (I hope not, it wouldn’t be very anti-Valentine if he did!) Great piece!
‘Timony Souler recently posted..#DearValentine – Episode 1
February 5, 2012 at 7:58 pm
I’m so glad I saw your tweet about the challenge! It’s so funny; as soon as I saw the list of prompts, the story just popped into my head. I’ll be straddling the anti-Valentine line, so Pierce will have his share of heartbreak, and perhaps a pseudo-happy ending. We’ll see how I’m feeling by the end of the month. 😉
Lena Corazon recently posted..ROW80: Taking Stock
February 4, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Well done, Lena! I look forward to more installments. 😉
August McLaughlin recently posted..LSR #5: Groovy Moving
February 5, 2012 at 7:59 pm
Thanks so much, August! I’m excited to write the next three parts. 😀
Lena Corazon recently posted..ROW80: Taking Stock
February 4, 2012 at 5:28 pm
Love it! The only thing about flash fiction is that it’s too short. I want more!
Tameri Etherton recently posted..Crush of the Month ~ Hugh Jackman
February 5, 2012 at 8:00 pm
Thanks, Tameri! I know what you mean – there’s all sorts of detail and backstory in my head for Pierce and his lady, and it’s so hard to distill it down to 300 words. I’ll have to file it all away, though, and maybe I’ll get a chance to expand on it somewhere down the line.
February 4, 2012 at 7:32 pm
Just great, Lena! A bad boy in love….yum.
Nadja Notariani recently posted..Mid-Week Machinations & Insecure Writers
February 5, 2012 at 8:01 pm
I have such a soft spot in my heart for a bad boy, and Pierce definitely has blood on his hands… but he’s a lover and a fighter, lol. Thanks for stopping by!
February 5, 2012 at 12:37 am
I likey! Can’t wait to read more. You have such a talent for the written word.
Debra Kristi recently posted..Row80 Check-in 2/5 Finding Something to Inspire
February 5, 2012 at 8:01 pm
Ohhh, thank you so much, Debra. That means a lot to me!
February 5, 2012 at 4:23 am
A sizzling start!! Totally want to read more – am slightly in love with Pierce (love that name) already.
charitygirlblog recently posted..#DearValentine: La Belle Part 1
February 5, 2012 at 8:02 pm
Oh man, I cannot tell you how much I am in love with Pierce. Every once in a while I wish I was Pygmalion, and someone would come along and bring him to life for me. 😉
February 5, 2012 at 7:26 am
I love it. Do you need to take it further? Are the other 3 parts a continuation or stand alone stories? This was good and tight.
February 5, 2012 at 8:03 pm
Thanks, Emma! Yes, the next three parts are going to be a continuation — next week will be a flashback, I think, and the last two will be the final chapters of Pierce hunting for his vanished love… at least that’s how it exists in my head at the moment! We’ll see what flows forth from my pen. 😉
February 5, 2012 at 1:46 pm
Love it, Lena, looking forward to the next three parts!
Julie Fisher recently posted..#DearValentine Challenge Week One: Office Gossip
February 5, 2012 at 8:03 pm
Thanks so much, Julie!
February 7, 2012 at 7:31 am
Love it! Give me more!!
Myndi Shafer recently posted..A Hard Bit of Future to Wait For
February 8, 2012 at 1:16 am
Coming up! 😀
February 26, 2012 at 7:23 pm
Well I vote that he find his love–after suitable trials of course. I prefer happy endings.
Love the chemistry you create between the characters without even needing Wyng present.
“His chest heaved, as though some imaginary string tied their hearts together and pulled taut, stretching beyond endurance.” is definitely my favorite line, I know that feeling and you describe it well. Definitely makes him come across as strong that he won’t allow it to break–instead of watching helplessly as it does.
David A Ludwig recently posted..Dear Valentine 4